Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao is going to beat Richard John Hatton MBE

Take 1.50

Aerial Telly loves you¹. He has difficulty showing it ² sometimes because he's a savage beast who just keeps coming, a man who sows the wind and reaps the whirlwind. But be under no illusions: love for humanity, even specimens as wretched, craven and stupid as you is the principle that governs his remarkable life. He expresses this love by offering insights into your utter worthlessness. In a single sentence he sketches the futility of your existence better than volumes of existential philosophy ever could. But that's not all. Having impressed upon you the indisputable truth that nothing you say or do will ever matter he offers compensation by way of countless winning bets. And the latest of these is this: Manny Pacquiao to beat Ricky Hatton at the MGM Grand, Las Vegas, on May 2.

"Ricky Hatton is the best 10 stone boxer in the world. The second thing you need to know is: 10 stone is a piss weak division. When Paulie "extensions" Malignaggi is number two in the world, this should be obvious."

The first thing you need to know is this: Ricky Hatton is a cracking little fighter, the best 10 stone boxer in the world. The second thing you need to know is: 10 stone is a piss weak division. When Paulie "extensions" Malignaggi is number two in the world, this should be obvious. Aerial Telly correctly predicted a dominant performance by Hatton over Malignaggi in November and it's hard to get excited by the likes of Herman Ngoudjo andLovemore N'dou. 140 lbs sucks ass.

And Manny Pacquiao is the best fighter in the world. He has a win and a draw against the best technician in the game Juan Manuel Marquez ³, has beaten Morales, Barrera, every Mexican that ever lived and anyone that has been put in front of him. And although Oscar De La Hoya was shot by the time they fought he still looked mightily impressive. A look at De La Hoya's face after the fight let you know that those are not pitter-patter punches he's throwing at these weights. He had pop even at 147.

"If Pacquiao can consistently find a defensive genius like Marquez with his straight left you have to assume finding Hatton will be no problem."

The punch I believe will decide this fight is Manny Pacquiao's straight left. Fashioned by Pacquiao's trainer, the great Freddie Roach, it is one of the most accurate punches in boxing. If he can consistently find a defensive genius like Marquez with it you have to assume finding Hatton will be no problem. And given that Hatton was nearly knocked out by Juan Lazcano, a natural lightweight, we can assure that Hatton will be sorely tested by this.

Manny is an in-and-out combination puncher at these weights, not a face first brawler. He uses his quicker feet and hands well and does not square his shoulders until his opponent has nothing left. Although Floyd Mayweather snr may make Hatton slightly more difficult to hit, speed, skill and timing will still be the deciding factors in this fight.

"If Hatton can consistently force the action against the ropes, he wins this fight. But I believe he will follow his trainer's advice from the De La Hoya fight: the second you feel your back touch the ropes, move off."

The one question mark over Pacquiao is his ability to take a body punch. The two knockouts he suffered early in his career were both from body shots and Hatton is a very good body puncher. If Hatton can consistently force the action against the ropes, he wins this fight. But I believe Manny will follow his trainer's advice from the De La Hoya fight: the second you feel your back touch the ropes, move off.

It's boxing and anything can happen but Pacquiao at 1.5 is tempting enough. The time has come to bet like men.

¹ Fuck you. Aerial Telly barely knows you exist.
² Fuck you. Aerial Telly rarely has any difficulty with any project involving communication.
³ On Aerial Telly's scorecard, one win and one loss - still highly creditable.

Imagined: 24th April 2009